I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
