His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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