if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
