in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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