Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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