I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
