im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
