Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
