Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I CAN MOONWALK!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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