Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
