I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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