We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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