Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
