I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
