Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
