We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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