this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
