used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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