she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
