i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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