She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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