I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
