i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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