Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
