Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
how can u be prego again
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
