I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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