I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
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I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
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Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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