dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
