but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
