a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
