i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
