Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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