he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
is that a dick in a sweater?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
