You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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