Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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