so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The air was thick with penises
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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