He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
