I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
