she was so not down for the gang bang
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
