I wish life had little blips of pornography
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
