i just google imaged poop.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
