So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
