I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
