You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
