That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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