I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
