franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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