Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize