two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Holy sore nipples Batman
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
