hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
