I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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