When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
it's like heaven, but drunker
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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