I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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