what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
