That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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