we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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