You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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