i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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