whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
