I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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