his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
well you can't waste a boner
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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