Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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