Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
