Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
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I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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