I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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