My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
