ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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