love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
