We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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