So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
