How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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